…To Shop Online And Screw The Mall This Christmas
1. While shopping malls generally suck at any time of year, they reach peak frustration on the approach to the Christmas holidays. They are way too crowded, too hot, line-ups are too long and the whole experience ends up being more aggravating than rewarding (even if you’re lucky enough to get everything you need in one trip). At home, the only wait time is the loading of web pages and someone is kind enough to drop off your purchases right at your front door.
2. The only way to to avoid crowds is to go to the mall really early or really late. Even then, it’s a bit of a crap shoot as to how things will go. The Internet is always open and is never more than a few steps away.
3. For those unfortunate enough to have to battle freezing temperatures, a trip to the mall means having to manage a whole pile of extra crap while you’re there - parkas, scarves, gloves, etc. With everyone else having to do the same, maneuvering around stores gets increasingly difficult. At home, you can wear anything you like. You can shop in your underwear. Or you can shop naked. What goes on in front of your computer, stays in front of your computer.
4. After a while, Christmas muzak gets highly annoying and has been known to incite mall rage. There are only so many times you can hear Jingle Bell Rock played on a $25 Casio keyboard before you start losing your mind. Stay at home and you can listen to your own tunes while you cruise for presents. Maybe enjoy a glass of eggnog while you’re at it.
5. You can do all of your shopping at work. While it’s probably against every corporate policy out there, it’s a highly efficient way of getting back some of your personal time. Let’s face it, there are more than enough reasons to get stressed out around the holidays. A little lost productivity in the office is worth the extra time you’ll have to relax, sit back and watch the mall rats foolishly run through the maze of Christmas craziness.
Even the Federal Trade Commission agrees and they have graciously provided us with 10 Tips for Smart Holiday Shopping Online.
