Four (or Five!) Reasons Why

…Aquaman Is The Lamest Superhero Of All Time

1. How much crime actually happens under water? Maybe Black Manta trying to torch the ocean. Maybe the occasional renegade, nuclear-powered submarine captain with a hate on for the world. Maybe Captain Highliner and Captain Crunch finally settling their longstanding feud in a messy battle royale. Seriously - what evil mastermind plans to take over the waterways of the world?

2. When they were handing out superpowers, Aquaman was clearly last in line. The ability to extract oxygen from the water. Check. The ability to withstand deep sea pressure and extreme cold. Check. The ability to speak with sea creatures. Check. The ability to swim really fast. Check. Ready to save the world? Check! And while he does possess superhuman strength, what is there to lift or throw underwater?

3. All superheroes have an Achilles heel. It’s the law of being super. Superman has Kryponite. Spiderman has Mary Jane. Ironman was susceptible to the bottle. Aquaman - he grew weak when he was away from water for too long and would die unless he was in contact with it at least once an hour. WIthout super speed, all you had to do was run away for a while before he had to retreat to the ocean.

4. Sidekicks are pretty common, but admittedly they’re not particularly cool. That’s why they’re sidekicks. But Aqualad?

5. Aquaman is, by far, the most ridiculed superhero ever. He has been mocked on South Park, Family Guy, and Robot Chicken, to name but a few. If you are truly super, you don’t get teased so badly.